Wednesday, December 17, 2003

I haven't blogged in a while. People have noticed. My inclination is that this blog is a vanity press of sorts. I don't feel compelled to write about technical matters on it. In fact, I wonder if I should avoid technical topics. Other avenues exist for that. In general, I try to think about non-technical topics outside of work.

For instance, I recently acted in a movie called "Crit-Sit". I was one of the four leads. I can't remember the last time I made so many friends so many quickly. Acting is difficult, I must say. It can be physically tiring, but it is more than just physical.

For instance, my first scene filmed was three-quarters into the movie. This was filmed first for a variety of production related reasons: location and actor availability being the foremost. In this scene, I tried to play my character as he would be at that point in the story: awake for thirty-six hours straight, emotional drained, and loopy.

Two weeks later, I played scenes that were in the opening of the movie. Now, I had to play my character as he would be then: goofy, bored, and then excited.

A day after that, I needed to play a scene that comes right after the first scene I played: even more drained, more loopy, and a little pissy.

I think you get the point. You have to keep in your head your character's state for each scene in the film. You must make as you play each scene you pull up the correct character aspects. You must become the character--but also the character at that time.

While this was hard, at the same time it felt familiar. This is because I think each of us holds this simultaneous state in our heads. For our Mom's, we are sweeter and kinder versions of ourselves; For friends, rambunctious; For Republicans and telemarketers, coldly polite.

I think we play a character to ourselves as well. Sometimes I'm a hero to myself, and other times I'm a villain. It's much more dynamic and personal than my external character states.

Does that mean we aren't sincere? I don't think so. Insincerity breeds posturing. Posturing is when the actual character state doesn't change, but merely the physical attributes. When I'm around my mom, I am a sweeter person. I'm not pretending to be. When a telemarketer calls, I am a Nazgul of rude.


Tuesday, December 16, 2003

I've just been
seated...


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